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Saturday, November 19, 2011

BORING STATISTICS, PART 2- and a big announcement!

I've decided to keep all of you abreast of the various and ultimately questionable ways people from all over the globe manage to find this blog. A few months ago I posted about this, but have since had more strange search terms lead to here. I'll keep doing these so long as those weird search results keep coming in.

Besides the unfortunately normal amount of porn websites that somehow manage to link to us (or so they say), we get a lot of traffic from people looking up pornography or otherwise ridiculous/absurd/questionable terms. I can imagine that all of these people are vastly disappointed at what they find. As blogger only keeps track of the top ten of everything in its stats section, I unfortunately cannot report on the countries from which many of these results come from like I could the last time. This means more of you are looking (and I hope spreading the word simultaneously) which is definitely a good thing.

Let's begin (note- not in chronological order):

Helpful links to the review in question, many of which remain sadly barely read, are included for your pleasure.

-Someone in New Zealand who found us by googling "Boob Humor". I hope he liked the Microwave Massacre review.

-There have been no less than two people looking for "THX 1138 nude dancers". One used that search  sequence and I forgot the other very similar one. Yes I mentioned that scene, but you people are gross. Read the review here.

-Yet more questionable searches that lead to my review of the film "Girly", came from someone trying  very hard to find "Tantalizing girly video". You are gross.

-Several recent hit have come from people trying to find out about the movie "Straw Dogs". Not really a problem in and of itself, it's just the WAY they tried to find out and just what they were looking for that's the problem here. So far these are "Straw Dogs fucking" and "Straw Dog fuck".

-One that actually JUST showed up was "cut-throat Kommandos foot sex" Yes, there is a foot sex scene in that movie which you can read about right here, but the scene is more what the fuck enducing than sexy. I guess this is what happens when you are the only person on the internet with a blog who bothered to give this movie an actual review instead of a download link...

So far those are the strange search results made privy to me. Hopefully none of them were lost but I check a few times a day just to make sure I don't miss anything. The following are extremely non specific things that lead to the blog you are now enjoying:

- Some people looking for images relating to "1945 Hohner Melodica". Thankfully this one is pretty innocent. All they managed to find was my google profile picture of me playing my old Hohner Soprano. Things did get slightly creepy when I noticed someone had looked for "davis melodica". In case you didn't realize, Davis is my last name...

-I am sort of honored, but someone found us by searching for "top fucked up video sites". WHile they were probably looking for gross stuff, I hope they at least stopped by and had a laugh reading some reviews.

And now for the search terms that were straight up porn related, or related to this site showing up higher in search than porn related bullshit:

-Someone looked up "www.home". This seemed innocent enough, but when I followed it up my ste was nowhere in sight. The Bing search page contained only four links, all of which related to gay porn. Thanks a lot Bing...

-Just today we received a hit via someone looking for "fucked up ways to fuck video". I don't want to know what they were expecting.

-Thanks to the ever vigilant never sleeping internet, this blog has made it to page one of Bing search. I don't give a shit about Bing and use google myself, but lots of my traffic seems to come through there. We are currently (as of November 19th, 2011 at 12:48 pm PST) sandwiched between the "fuckshit" page at deviant art and directly above the IMDB page for "Fuck My Dirty Shit Hole (Video 1997)". I am believe it or not very proud of this.

I am really pleased that the film Microwave Massacre has been searched for more than anything else. It was that way before and still is again. It's currently the number two most viewed post. Keep up the good work, I will keep on writing for you.


I have been offered a writing position for the really terrific website It's a lot like PBS. So far I have done a review of the 1986 horror film Trick Or Treat which you can read here, and this sunday (November 20th, 2011) will have a suitably damning review of Howard The Duck posted there also. Thank you one and all for your continued support of this blog. You have given me the will to continure honing my writing to a very sharp and dangerous point.

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