Girly (aka Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, and Girly)

This movie is a bizzarre anomaly. If you're the type of person who hates English accents and/or figures of speech you will probably want to skip this one as you'll prove yourself an absolute nonce in the end. My initial viewing didn't grab me very much to be perfectly honest, and it had to simmer for a while in the recesses of the brain before I decided to watch it again. The satire is oppressive, thick, and dry. Once you get past that you find a disturbing film full of childish naivete laced with murder and brutality all set within the confines of a lovely English mansion's large estate. Do yourself a favor and peep the trailer for a hot couple of minutes will you:

The trailer gives you a decent idea of the almost annoying level of cutsey pootsey dialogue (even the score is grossly cute and sarcastic) this film has throughout. The basic plot revolves around the four characters named quite appropriately Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, and the titular (and titillating) Girly. Each filling their own place in a bizarre scheme involving Girly and Sonny luring strangers into coming to stay and forcing them to play a sadistic game designed to make them the "perfect family". Of course if one fails to observe the vague and varied rules death comes swiftly and viciously.

The film starts with Sonny and Girly picking up a bum off a park bench after running about through a zoo before opening. This includes an uncomfortable incestuous/erotic bit between the two when Sonny feeds Girly a piece of candy (what the fuck!?!) which can be seen in the Spanish trailer at around the 40 second mark. Don't say I didn't try to warn you:

Finding their scheme of picking up bums nobody will miss to be lacking in the fun rich British scumbags feel they do so very much deserve, they manage to cop a man and his girlfriend (via Girly's sex appeal over the man) from a drunken party, killing the girlfriend and taking the very soused and grief stricken man now dubbed "New Friend" off to their home play the game. Little does anyone suspect but New Friend is just as manipulative of a player as them and the begins starts to slant in his favor...

Note: I condensed the plot in order to tantalize you into watching this. Netflix has it, just sayin'...

This movie also has a handy DVD release for those no longer transfixed by images and sound encoded on magnetic tape making it available to a wider audience for the first time (I'd have never seen it otherwise). Unfortunately the company who released it called it by its better known in the US title of Girly but failed to provide the full title on the front cover (I'm anal like that, but you probably realized this by now). See it below:

However when one watches the DVD it features the full British title in the same font as the rest of the credits (I find this a good thing). Here is what the British title screen looks like:

And here is how it appears on the US home video release (and assumedly theatrical runs too):

Sure the title looks okay for this one pictured above, but the rest of the titles are in the curly pink and heart emblazoned font of the British title screen. Its a very minor thing to pick at, but I think the original title screen helps invoke the overly cute but deadly atmosphere this film rests its cred on. Obviously the idea of satire mixed with horror completely escaped whoever marketed this movie in America. It of course had an all too short theatrical run in both the US and Britain and was practically all but forgotten. In 1987 Prism released this VHS of it that became just as forgotten in the rental shops so it would seem.

Films like this don't come around very often. While there is likely a reason for that (1. they are hard to make and get right 2. do we really need a glut of them?), I have come of the opinion that this film needs a bit more credit than it gets. Like I said before in this review my initial viewing left me a bit unimpressed but once I gave it a decent mental chew and saw it again it started to grow on me a little. While this movie undoubtedly won't prick some of your collective ears, maybe a handful of you lot will watch it and see what I see now.

I've read that this film is a commentary on the breakdown of the nuclear family in the late 60's amongst other things. While I'm not quite sure about that (it makes some sense, perhaps I am not yet wise/learned enough?) I am quite sure this film left me very unsettled and frankly amused in a rather cheeky way. A serious complaint I have is that there are good portions of this film that totally fucking PLOD. I could have made a sandwich for a bit and missed very little. Even a review of it from the time of its original release complained of some of it lack of pace. Sure we can't all have our cake and eat it too, but it easily could easily have been at least ten minutes shorter. Speaking of shorter, Girly (played by Vanessa Howard) wears awfully short skirts in most of the movie. Its kind of disturbing because sure she has hot legs/etcetera, but you are never really certain of how old she is supposed to be...

The Hitcher

This movie was remade a while back. FUCK THE REMAKE. Do not try and argue otherwise with me.

Anyways...

This movie is yet another horror sleeper hit. I first saw it on cable TV when I was a kid, and its really bleak and atmospheric and also has some class act plot twists throughout. Not only that but it is both well cast and well written with a more than capable cast. What's perhaps most surprising to me is that it was produced by HBO who I forgot made theatrical items. Think of it as a more action packed version of Spielberg's first movie Duel with more characters and some really ace high speed car wrecks and brutal murders. While on the subject of murders, its worthwhile to note that throughout the 98 minutes of the film we never actually see any of the murders take place, only their aftermath. In one cases you don't see the murder at all, just a blood drip, which  leaves it up to your own horrific imagination- kudos to you director Robert Harmon! I'll get back to the atmosphere later as I should really talk a little about the plot first.

The film revolves around a young man named Jim Halsey (C. Thomas Howell) who is driving through the desert (Arizona desert maybe? I don't recall) from Chicago to San Diego on a drive away (for those in foreign countries, this is a way of having a car delivered from elsewhere to you by having someone who is moving somewhere get paid to drive the car to you rather than having it shipped at great expense) who makes the mistake of picking up a lone hitchhiker (Rutger Hauer) in the middle of a heavy rain storm. Almost immediately the hitcher tells Jim he is going to kill him. What follows is 98 minutes of tension, isolation, police misunderstanding, and terror. The titular scene in the film involves Jennifer Jason Leigh and a semi truck. I won't say anything more about that.

I have very little experience with deserts. I know they are the following: hot, enormous, and isolating. This is like the exact opposite of my review of Rituals from a couple weeks ago, but instead of a claustrophobic and equally isolating forest we have an oppressive barren desert to reckon with. Rutger Hauer is still in his immediate post Blade Runner badass prime and is a superb murderous creep. C. Thomas Howell is practically exploding with terror, frustration, and grief (I believe this is his best movie by and large) almost the entire film. Jennifer Jason Leigh's part is small but she does a very natural character that in no way detracts from the proceedings and if anything proves to make things slightly more tense.

The hitcher (named John Ryder of all tacky things) is one brutal motherfucker. He kills a number of cops, a family, and who the hell knows how many people before the film began? I'm not sure if this could be considered a slasher movie or not- in fact I'm not sure what to call it. Its definitely a thriller/suspense flick and a damn good one to boot. I want to get into the nitty gritty of the movie, really I do, but I want you to see it for yourself and be as surprised as I was at some of the goings on. Go and do yourself a favor and rent/buy/borrow this and watch it in a dark room by yourself. Just make sure you've done all of your highway driving for the evening first okay?

"I'm hungry Mr. Lang..."

This weeks review is for a film I actually like: The Manipulator aka B.J. Lang Presents (1971). As there are no helpful youtube clips for this movie beyond other folks own reviews and I do not as yet have the items necessary to make my own clips, I will have to do my best to describe things to you with only words. This movie is what I like to refer to as a real live sleeper hit.

It seems this film was made in the dark end of Mickey Rooney's career, and as such has an incredibly low rating on imdb which I firmly believe is very unjust. The loosely defined plot (with little unnecessary exposition, which I feel does this film tremendous credit) centers on ex Hollywood makeup artist BJ Lang (Rooney) and an actress (Anders) he is holding captive in a multi level building of some sort. We are never certain just where the building is located or even what kind (we can assume a warehouse) as events constantly unfurl into a world of escapist insanity.

Lang is living in an immense  delusion of grandeur and is "filming" (with no doubt empty cameras) a production of Edmond Rostand's play Cyrano de Bergerac- all the while yammering and conversing with imaginary crew members and recounting his former (and pitiful) notoriety.  The poor actress who has been kidnapped/coerced/tricked (we never know) into playing the part of Roxanne is tied to a wheel chair by rags for a fair portion of the film. Claustrophobia, paranoia, and schizophrenia commence through the final frame.

I won't give away anything more than this because I want you to seek it out, rather I will focus the rest of this short and sweet review on what makes this film work so well in my opinion. The film is frightening, bizzare, and psychedelic. The only special effects utilized are something modern directors with digital cameras have all but forgotten about- OPTICAL TRICKERY. Fisheye lens closeups, slow motion, under cranked images, and even stills make the viewer become one with the crumbling edifice of Lang's shattered mind.

The use of these camera tricks combined with constant contradicting shots of escape and imprisonment of the captive actress only further serve to make one question reality itself. Has she escaped? Much like Ridley Scott's incomparable horror classic Alien (1979) its what the audience does NOT know that makes things so frightening. As mentioned before where is this warehouse of props we are in? How long has she been kept there (we only know long enough to be desperately hungry) and how did she get there? What was the final straw that pushed Lang to such depths? The answers never come, and I prefer not to know what's behind the curtain.

As far as I know, the only home video releases (in the US at least, anybody who knows of foreign releases please chime in!) are the Vestron VHS reviewed here and a Mill Creek Entertainment DVD only available in one of those terrible "50 movies for 20 bucks" type box sets filled mostly with garbage. If you find this movie lying about somewhere don't hesitate, its a rarity!